If you didn’t read my introduction to the Finding Mr Right series you can find it here.
So I went on a date, a real fucking date. How did that happen?
The date went well, or so I fucking thought.
It was all pretty normal as for first dates go I suppose, I don’t know what I was expecting but it was more along the lines of a diamond ring and a trip to Gretna Green.
Back to the normal date.
We met in Starbucks, well actually we were supposed to meet in an area in Manchester and head to Starbucks together – but I missed that memo and went straight there. I thought he’d showed me up so I ordered a large sugary mango passionfruit frap (191 calories) whilst texting my mates about how shit he was. Just before I was about to start crying into my drink, in he fucking trots.
He ordered something sophisticated I forget now, but it definitely wasn’t a large frap that spilled down his top every time he went fora sip – that was me.
We had a nice chat for a while and got to know eachother.
Conversation flowed I mainly spoke about myself and thought about how less-weird my current situation I would be if alcohol had touched my lips.
I found out a bit about him though; he’s a firefighter (hot), is a wrestler (hot), enjoys yoga (hot), has a degree in nutrition (hot) and used to manage a gym and be a PT (double hot).
Me on the other hand..
Now I enjoy; eating multi-packs of crisps, crying into Ben & Jerry’s and driving 20 minutes to get the best Salt and Pepper chips in Manchester.
I enjoy getting Uber’s everywhere and absolutely despise walking.
I enjoy spending my weekends drinking thousands of calories worth of alcohol and wasting my Sundays on my friend’s sofas trying to find a way back home.
BUT no matter how different we were, he seemed cool. He was friendly enough and had good chat.
Round the corner from Starbucks there is a crazy golf place, so naturally we headed there.
Now this was my first mistake, I’m super competitive and was certain I would win. I decided to repeatedly tell him over and over again about how I would win, despite no alcohol in my throat I was still a nob.
What a surprise when I did, I mean it was only by one point and let’s be honest he probably let me – but I still won.
I was sure I’d make him never forget and repeated it over and over again. Why am I so annoying?
Then we wandered around (did I mention I hate walking) and went to a bar. He had a night shift (being a hot firefighter) so we didn’t drink alcohol, but we chatted again.
I mentioned ex boyfriends and how I’m an absolute liability on a night out, what a way to put him off.
Then we said goodbye, or mainly he made an excuse for having to leave because I was so stuck on a conversation about my ex I forgot I was even on a first date.
I got an uber (shock) and he walked to his car. He probably ran let’s be honest because he’s so fucking fit.
Anyways, he asked me on another date. Lol.
Despite how different we are I mainly said yes because he’s a firefighter and he was fit.
Anyways did he text me? Did I text him? Of course not. So that date isn’t ever happening.
So I’ll keep you updated on my next round of dating with another poor soul.
Love you and leave you,